Day of Remembrance

             Survivor Speaker Ozzie Diaz, reading from a prepared statement told us about the anger him and his family felt after losing his baby sister Mandy Lynn Diaz.

“My name is Ozzie Diaz,” he said.  “My baby sister Mandy Lynn Diaz was brutally taken from this earth on July 30th, 2001, she is a victim of domestic violence, and as a result, so am I.

You see?  Many times people do not realize the multiple victims of domestic violence.  It is the community, the survivors and their families left behind that suffer.  A bit after her death I was compelled to write a poem for her, titled ‘Letter to Heaven’.  Now, I’m not going to read the entire poem but I would like to share the first line: ‘To my dear broken heart, my sister, my friend’.

You see, I don’t have my baby sister here to share thoughts and good times with anymore.  My brother is painstakingly trying so hard to make sure that happiness can still be a part of our family life.  And my mother, oh God, how she’s had to suffer after raising her daughter with patience and love into a beautiful woman, to now have to raise her grandchildren daily and seeing Mandy in their eyes.

How do you tell a child that witnessed their mother’s last breath that things are going to be ok?  Just not yet, not now, it turns into not ever, and any answer we try to give, always feels incomplete.  When my 8-year-old son asks, what happened to Titi? Why did he hurt her?  My heart breaks again.  We will never be who we were going to be, her three children will never be who SHE would have raised them to be.  My mother is the rock, the cornerstone that this family continues to build upon, but she doesn’t allow us see the crumbling inside her for our sake.

I get upset, I get angry.  I ask myself how, why does domestic violence continue?  How is it so common-place?  Why is it that these animals feel they can hurt someone’s child?  Who is raising these individuals that think it is ok to strike a mother’s daughter, a brother’s sister, someone’s niece?  Many cases are never solved, and those that are provide little comfort.

Lee said it well when she stated that she is not a religious woman but she knows Gabe is watching over her and regardless she will always miss her son.  I have a relationship with Jesus and still the wounds for the loss of my sister will never completely heal.  I ask myself, what can we do to eradicate domestic violence?  That is a great question without any one answer.

You pick up a newspaper; turn on the TV, or browse the internet and domestic violence is getting worse.  Bullying, depression, division, and the demeaning nature of how we treat each other are rampant in society today.  Now, I may not know a solution for all of these answers, but I do believe that it starts in their home.  I do know that we as a society need to stop it in our own homes.  We need to educate the children God gave us the responsibility to raise, that it is never acceptable to physically or emotionally hurt anyone.  Being a father or mother is not about writing a check, it’s about checking ourselves and making sure that we are raising our children to be healthy members of society.

We need to work together, we need to help the police do their job, bring attention to our counselors and other city officials that we want a better Lawrence and we WILL do what it takes to make that happen.  And then do it, be the change that you want to see.  Make sure your house is not a home that promotes violence but instead instills love and kindness towards all.  As I said, there is no one right answer for all of this, but it is time that we step up and become the solution, at least in our own back yard”.