Here some thoughts on what some people consider the nectar of the Gods:
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. – Henny Youngman.
24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case, coincidence? I think not. – Stephen Wright.
When we drink beer we get drunk. When get drunk we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to Heaven. So let’s all get drunk and go to Heaven. – Brian O’Rourke.
Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. – Benjamin Franklin.
To some people it’s a six-pack; to me it’s a support group. Salvation in a can! – Dave Howell.
Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was a great invention, but it does not go nearly as well with pizza. – Dave Barry.
I feel sorry of people who don’t drink beer. When they wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they are going to feel all day. – Frank Sinatra.
You can tell when you’ve had too much beer to drink when you fall on the floor and you can’t hold on. – Dean Martin.
Can you cry under water?
How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of murdered?
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
What disease did cured ham actually have?
Why is it people say, “He slept like a baby,” when babies wakes up every two hours?
If a deaf person goes to court, is it still called a hearing?
Why is it you are IN a movie, but you’re ON tv?
Why is bra singular and panties plural?
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
If the professor on Gilligan’s Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can’t he fix a hole in a boat?
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all four paws, they are both dogs.
If corn oil is made from corn and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Do the alphabet song and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
Why did you just try singing both tunes?
I would never trade my closest and amazing friends, my past and present time of life for less gray hair or a flatter belly. Aging has made me kinder to myself and also less critical of myself. I’ve become my own best friend. I don’t chide myself for eating that extra cookie or for not making my bed. (I do, however, think a lot about having a hot fudge sundae). I feel entitled to a treat, and to be extravagant. I’ve seen too many friends and acquaintances leave this world too soon, before they understood the great freedoms that come with aging.
Whose business is it if I choose to read or play computer games until four in the morning and sleep until noon?
I can dance around my apartment to those wonderful tunes of the 50’s, 60’s and 70’s and if at the same time, wish to cry over a lost love or a passing of someone that I called a friend… I can and I will.
If I cared to I could walk the beach in a too tight swim suit that is stretched over a body that has eaten too many Big Macs and french fries creating some weird bulges and skin shapes.
I could if I wanted to dive head first into the waves with abandon and care less about the jet setters casting pitying glances towards me. They too will get old.
I know that I am sometimes forgetful (called a senior moment). Sometimes there are things that should be forgotten and it’s just as well. I’m sure we remember the most important things.
Sure my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one or when a child suffers?
Broken hearts are what molds us, gives us strength and compassion.
A good friend of mine told me if you didn’t like someone you didn’t wish him financial dismay or sickness or a broken bone, but rather a broken heart from a love affair gone bad. He continued, wish him a broken heart because there is no pill or doctor to ease that pain and time cannot move fast enough as we’ve heard that “time heals all pain”.
Most of us at this age can relate to that part of having a broken heart. I’m so glad there are silver streaks in my hair and have all the laughs I’ve shared with many others and left some deep grooves in my face. So many friends died before their hair could turn silver and never had as many laughs.
As you grow older, it’s easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think, and don’t question yourself as much anymore. We have even earned the right to be wrong. Being old sets us free and allow us to like the person we’ve become.
I will not allow myself to lament about what could have been and what will be, and I will eat dessert every single day! (if I feel like it). Being more positive is part of us aging and it’s pretty easy, you can care less what people think and don’t question yourself any more. We have even earned the right to be wrong.
