A Point of View by Paul Montesino

Going Back to Basics.
        A Point of View © 1996
        By Paul V. Montesino, PhD, MBA, CSP.

A few months ago, I authored an article about human behavior that struck a chord. It was a description of a frequent and popular affectional interaction between two people who did not reach them physically because it was limited to a kiss in the air followed by the verbal expression “Moa” that isolated them as well. Today I want to reintroduce an older  basic human need: a hug. “Moa” is being promoted.

Fortunately, our basic expressions of love and need for each other have not ceased. A hug is still a hug and a real opportunity to share and enjoy each other’s existence. Practice hugging is born. If you look at babies you see their mothers and fathers reaching for them in the crib to hug them. Babies learn early how to reach for the ones who gave them life with a hug. And you and I know that it is a loving hug of consequence between mom and dad that created that baby. Contrary to folklore, storks don’t deliver babies. In one of my European trips, in Portugal, I saw storks lying on top of chimney crowns trying to keep warm. 

But the practice goes beyond that early moment. Watch hockey players on ice after they hit the hockey pock successfully into the net to score and the other players reach that player to hug him or her. Which is more rewarding than hockey players pulling their sweatshirts and hair hitting each other because one felt tricked by the other. The same happens with soccer, basketball, baseball, and football players. We not only want to win games, that in itself is a reward, we also want to hug and be hugged. Give me a game without hugs and I will give you a scoreless game.

Shall I remind my readers that we hug at airports, at weddings, at parties and graduation commencement exercises, even at funerals? We didn’t start practicing it. It was in our territory and came with our evolutionary DNA package. Monkeys hug each other’s and chimpanzees even hug us.

By now you are asking yourselves why I wrote this piece that sounds so obvious. The reason is simp[le: we need more hugs. They don’t have to be physical all the time, they may be virtual and intangible as well. All we need is wish well to others and a virtual hug is in the air.

In reality, what I wanted to do is ask my readers not to spend valuable romantic time this coming week on the Saint Valentine’s February 14 day approaching us blowing MOA kisses to each other. Saint Valentine was removed from the General Roman Calendar of the Catholic Church in 1969 for lack of reliable information (Source-the Internet), but you are not sinful if you continue to hug. Go for the real thing. It glorifies our humanity and satisfies our instinctual needs. Why do you think we started practicing it as babies unless we were going to need it as adults?

And that’s my Hugging Point of View  today. Happy Saint Valentine’s Day. So long.