Let Go of Pain and Anger
By Tomás Nuñez, ThD
An enemy of the heart is anger. We get angry when we don’t get what we want.
Show me an angry person, and I’ll show you a hurt person. And I guarantee you that the person is hurt because something has been taken from them. Someone owes them something.
We all know people whose anger can be expressed in the following ways: “You ruined my reputation.” “You stole my family.” “You took the best years of my life.” “You destroyed my first marriage.” “You robbed me of my adolescence.” “You took away my purity.” “You owe me a raise.” “You owe me a chance to try.” “You owe me a second chance.” “You owe me affection.”
The root of anger is the perception that something has been taken from you. You are owed something. And now a debt-debtor relationship has been established.
And what about you? What debt is causing the anger you feel?
How long are you going to allow the people who have hurt you to control your life? Another month? Another year? Another stage of your life? How long?
I’d like to propose that today be the day you stop holding on to the pain!
While it’s true that you can’t undo what has happened, it’s also true that you don’t have to let the past control your future. In Ephesians 4, we are commanded to “get rid of all bitterness, anger, and wrath.” We do that by “forgiving one another.”
The remedy for anger is forgiveness. If we expect repayment for the wrongs done to us, we will be the ones who will pay. If, on the other hand, we cancel the debts owed to us, we will be set free.
Unresolved anger resulting from intentional or unintentional harm is the most devastating. Yet, in some ways, it’s the easiest to overcome. You simply decide to cancel the debt. You decide and declare, “You don’t owe me anymore.”
Follow this four-step process today:
1 Identify who you’re angry with.
2 Determine what they owe you.
3 Cancel the debt and forgive.
4 Don’t let anger build up again.
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